Roll Out The Barrel

I wasn’t able to watch the University of Kentucky vs. University of Tennessee football game last night but as a long time fan I knew better than to get my hopes up when I checked the score on the internet this morning. 30-24 in overtime. And the losing streak continues. November 24, 1984 still stands as the last time Kentucky beat Tennessee in football. It’s hard to believe that my first semester at UK was the last time the Wildcats came out on top in this rivalry. Nothing makes you feel old like realizing that none of the players in the latest game were even born when I set off for college.

Back then I couldn’t check the internet for news of the win because no such thing existed. I brought a pica electric typewriter with correction ribbon that my mom won as a sales prize from Avon to write my papers on. The typewriter, a hot pot, a small cassette player and my box of tapes were pretty much all I needed in my 4th floor walk-up dorm room with no air conditioning. Well, that and my cigarettes. That’s when there were still ashtrays outside of every classroom and some teachers even let you smoke during class. And the tradition of the winners of the UK-UT football game taking home the beer barrel still hadn’t been sacrificed on the altar of political correctness.

I realize that now is the age of alcohol-free campuses but beer was what college was all about for me in 1984. I may’ve been a dyed in the wool GDI but I was hitting the frat houses every Thursday through Saturday night for the free beer being offered to any female who walked through the door. My dad’s also a UK alumni and one of the few stories he ever told me about his college days had to do with the game against Tennessee his freshman year in 1958. That was the first time that UK’s president didn’t let the students have a day off when Kentucky beat Tennessee so my dad joined the resulting protest march through campus. I guess it just shows that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Whether it was 1958 or 1984, we had to fight… for our right… to pa-a-arty.

Wal-Mart Camping

I’d like to say that I avoid shopping at Wal-Mart for some high-minded reason like they killed small town main streets or their use of child labor or the shitty way they treat their employees but really, I just can’t stand crowds. That’s why it amazes me that this year Wal-Mart is going to stay open on Thanksgiving Day and allow customers to camp out next to their desired items and I’m sure there will be thousands of people across the country who will take them up on the offer.

It reminds me of a documentary I rented a few years back called “This Is Nowhere”. The movie told the story of RVers who use their Wal-Mart atlas to locate stores across the country where they can camp, ensuring that they never have to leave the concrete jungle and see anything besides the same strip malls and fast food restaurants they left behind. Isn’t the whole purpose of camping to get away from the crowds and back to nature? But I realize what they’ll be doing on Thanksgiving is more closely related to camping out for Springsteen tickets than pitching a tent in Yellowstone.

And I’m sure they’re doing this promotion for the same reason that arenas banned festival seating after 11 people died at the Who concert in Cincinnati in 1979. No one wants to see a repeat of the lethal stampede last year that killed a Wal-Mart employee and sent a pregnant woman to the hospital. Hopefully, the campout idea will dial back the violence to the shoving, punching and hair-pulling of earlier days but in a country where almost 17% of children go hungry and 45,000 people die every year because of lack of health insurance, should making sure you get the best deal on that Barbie Power Wheels Ride-On really be the most important thing this holiday season?

Just Plain Folks

When Sarah Palin spoke to the Republican National Convention last year I have to admit that I kind of liked her. I didn’t agree with her right wing stance but since I grew up experiencing the prejudice that exists against people in the flyover part of the country, it was refreshing to see someone on the national stage being proud of their rural roots. Unfortunately, the beauty was only skin deep. Once she did the interview with Katie Couric and was unable to answer even the most basic questions, I knew there was nothing behind the pretty facade.

I haven’t read “Going Rogue” yet but I did get home in time to watch most of the Oprah interview and I’ve seen various excerpts from her book on the internet. From what I’ve read so far, she comes across as a petty, vindictive woman who is totally ignorant of anything outside of her own insular world and is proud of it. I wanted her to prove the stereotypes wrong and instead she’s just fed into them. From throwing a tantrum and quitting her position as governor of Alaska because people in her own party dared to criticize her to resorting to juvenile name-calling like referring to Andree McLeod, a Republican watchdog from Anchorage, as the falafel lady and dismissing Katie Couric, an award-winning journalist, as the perky one with low self esteem, she’s proven herself to be totally unfit to occupy any elected office, much less the presidency.

I was amused when I saw on newsmax.com that Sarah Palin didn’t rule out a Palin/Glenn Beck ticket in 2012. In the last few months Beck has been compared to the Lonesome Rhodes character in the movie “A Face in the Crowd” and every time Sarah Palin speaks there’s a line from a song in that film that runs through my mind, pork chop eating, Sunday go to meeting, just plain folks. That seems to be Sarah Palin’s appeal in a nutshell and there's nothing wrong with that but to be president, I expect a little more.

Gay Marriage and Religion: Love vs. Hate

Photo credit: edouardo from morguefile.com
Maybe the idea is a little too close to the Jesus Freaks of the sixties, but what ever happened to God is love? Just as the Republican party has been taken over by hate-spewing extremists, organized religion seems to be spawning a lot of vicious vitriol as well. Unfortunately, religious nuts haven’t stopped with talk. Look at the slaying of 13 soldiers at Fort Hood, the murder of Dr. Tiller in Kansas and the Tony Alamo child rape case. Some of the most heinous crimes of the last few months have been committed in the name of God.

The Phelps family took a break from protesting at the funerals of war heroes the other day so they could bring their own special message of God’s vengeneance to the school that President Obama’s daughters attend. Christians who are jumping at the chance to condemn all Muslims because of the actions of Nidal Malik Hasan should consider whether or not they want to be judged by the likes of Reverend Phelps and Tony Alamo. The really sad thing is that even though most people don’t agree with Reverend Phelps’ tactics, the vast majority of the world’s religions do condemn homosexuality.

The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington announced the other day that they won’t be able to continue the social service programs they run in the District if it doesn’t change a proposed same-sex marriage law. Really?!? You’d rather punish the poor and homeless in Washington D.C. than let two consenting adults publicly acknowledge their love? Religions try to claim that people can't really be moral unless they have God in their lives. It seems like just the opposite to me. I'm seeing the hate but I'm not feeling the love.

Help! My Vagina’s Fallen and I Can’t Get Up!

Did anybody else see the story on Huffington Post today about the woman whose vagina fell out? As if I didn’t have enough to worry about, now I have to be on the lookout in case my innie becomes an outie?! This is just one more reason why the Democrats in the Senate need to get off their asses and get some meaningful healthcare reform passed stat. By God, if even one woman goes to the doctor with her shit hanging out and is told to go home and tuck it back in because they don’t have the money for an operation then I’m giving up all hope. We really are just a nation full of greedy, selfish pricks.

And the biggest greedy, selfish prick of all is that douche bag senator from Connecticut, Joe Lieberman. He’s willing to participate in a GOP filibuster before he’ll allow the rest of the country to share in the same kind of government run insurance that he’s entitled to as a member of the United States Senate. I’m sure it’s purely a matter of principle though. The vast sums of money that insurance companies have contributed to his campaigns have nothing to do with it. The fact that the Democrats still try to placate this traitor is amazing. This is where I have to give the Republicans credit. If you turn on them they’ll cut you down in a heartbeat.

When I saw all those representatives cheering and talking about what an historic moment it was when healthcare reform passed in the House I wanted to believe, I really did. But realistically, I know it’s not going to mean shit. The Senate's going to twist and turn it until all that will be left is a pathetic, mealy-mouthed shadow of the already watered-down version that came out of the House. If anything passes at all. The thing that really drives me insane is the Orwellian double speak that's been a part of this debate from the start. Republicans say they're worried about the expense so they propose not cracking down on the insurance monopolies and not offering a public option to force them to lower their rates. What the fuck?!? I think I felt my vagina slip a little just thinking about it.

What’s In a Name?

The yearly ritual of Christians getting their panties in a wad because the government would dare to call a Christmas tree a holiday tree instead has begun. I fail to understand what the controversy is all about. If you want to call it a Christmas tree, wish people a Merry Christmas and send out Christmas cards, nobody’s stopping you. All they’re saying is that not everyone in this country shares your beliefs and it’s un-American for the government to endorse one religion over another. The United States was founded on religious freedom for all. Even if those beliefs don’t coincide with your own. The ironic part is that it was originally a pagan symbol so if we really want to go back to the good old days, why don’t we call it a winter solstice tree?

I think the same totalitarian arrogance that’s behind Christian’s attitudes about holiday celebrations in December also shows in their attitudes towards gay marriage. I get that you think homosexual relations are a sin but the whole world isn’t just like you. By all means, don’t engage in same-sex relationships and it’s well within your rights to pass this dogma on to your children, but other adults don’t have to kowtow to your every whim. Even if gay marriage is legalized nationwide it still won’t affect you or your church in any way. Just because the government recognizes same-sex marriages it doesn’t mean anyone else has to.

I grew up Southern Baptist, a religion founded on the concept that the Bible says that blacks are inferior to whites. They did eventually denounce this creed but it was well into the 20th century before that finally happened. Most Southern Baptist churches still won’t accept that a woman can preach and they consider her to be a helper to her husband, who should rule over her just as God rules over man. The church is still free to hold these assumptions even though the government confers equal rights to women and the same thing should happen for gays. Conservative Christians need to accept the fact that they live in a democracy, not a totalitarian state. You can hold whatever beliefs you wish, it's just not fair to shove them down everyone else's throat.