Fly The Friendly Skies

“Soft talk about engagement, closing Gitmo, these things are not going to appease the terrorists,” he said. “They’re going to keep coming after us, and we can’t have politics as usual in Washington, and I’m afraid that’s what we’ve got right now with airport security.” Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.)

When I saw this quote in a Politico article this morning it once again made me wonder how South Carolina can so consistently elect such a bunch of dumbasses into office. Yes, Senator DeMint, I totally agree, we can’t have politics as usual in Washington and that’s definitely what we have right now with airport security. If you hadn’t been playing politics as usual by holding up the appointment of Erroll Southers to head the Transportation Safety Administration maybe we could’ve had a better screening system in place that would’ve acted on the intelligence that we already had on the underwear bomber.

Unfortunately we’ll never know because you chose to block the current administration from getting a leader in place who could examine the effectiveness of the security measures enacted by the Republicans because Southers might let TSA employees unionize. Call me crazy but I’ll take employees who are adequately compensated and subsequently might actually give a damn about doing a decent job over people hired on the cheap that are constantly in fear of losing their position to someone willing to take 50 cents an hour less.

DeMint says he’s worried that union bosses could delay or veto security measures but I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. Acting quickly without thinking things through got us an asinine color-coded alert system that no one pays any attention to, a ban on adequately-sized toiletries and an obsession with making all passengers go barefoot through the security line. None of these swift actions has improved our security in any way that I can see. Janet Napolitano’s initial reaction to the crisis didn’t do anything to make me feel that the Democrats will handle future terrorist attacks any better than their predecessors but the least Senator DeMint can do is shut up, get out of the way and let the Obama administration make their own mistakes.

What are the Aughts?

Most of my life can be categorized by the decade. The seventies were my childhood, the eighties, high school and college and the nineties were the married/fat years. I’m still not sure how to describe the aughts though, or if I should even be calling this decade the aughts at all. I do think it sounds better than the zeroes or the 00s and since no one’s come up with anything better I guess that’s what I’ll use. I’m leaning towards the hermit/born-again virgin years but we’ll probably be into the teens before I’ll have enough distance to really know for sure.

The first 3 ½ years of my life were actually in the sixties, I got married in 89, and my divorce wasn’t final until early 2002 but for the most part the ten year cycle holds true. I became a woman in the Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret kind of way in the summer of 79 so I guess that was the official end of childhood for me. December of 88 was the terminus for the eighties. I graduated from college a semester late because I went temporarily insane one spring and dropped out to become a farmer’s wife in Mississippi. I was devastated at the time because the day we were planning on telling my parents he went to a friend’s house to take a shower and never came back, but in retrospect I can only think, Jesus Christ, I really dodged a bullet on that one.

Unfortunately I did drink the Kool-Aid in 89 and it was 12 ½ long years before I was able to extricate myself from that mess. I consider the end of the married/fat years to be a few weeks after September 11, 2001. Brent knew I was contemplating divorce because WWBD (What Would Brent Do) had always been the motto for our marriage and that early fall evening was supposed to be his attempt to prove to me that he could think about someone other than himself. We went to a bar down the street to hear a couple of my favorite bands but we never made it past the first set. He got shit-faced drunk, acted like a complete jerk in front of his boss and I ended up dragging his 275 pound ass all the way home. He fell when we got to the front porch and I totally lost it. My body ached all over and my hair was wringing wet so I threw open the door and screamed, “Crawl!” And he did.

That’s when I knew my marriage was really over. I didn’t want to be that person any more. I guess the Aughts were when I finally went back to being myself. The whole cancer scare makes me think that 2009 is the end of this phase of my life. It’s kind of like when I was on a family vacation at the beach and got stung by a jellyfish. I still had a day or two left at the ocean but my swimming time was over. Most people want to go back to their younger days but I’m actually happier now than I’ve ever been in my life. I don’t know what the next ten years holds in store for me but I'm hoping that my life continues like a fine wine. The more I age, the better I get to be.

The Douche Bag Movement

I used to be proud of voting for Obama but now the vote I’m proudest of casting is for my Representative, Raul Grijalva. He sent a letter to the president Friday as a co-chair of the Progressive Caucus asking to sit down and discuss his commitment to a public option. Progressives were the people who elected Obama in the first place and he’s been shitting on them from day one. That Grijalva, an Obama supporter, is demanding to at least be given as much consideration as Olympia Snowe gives me hope that maybe other Democrats will grow a set of balls and say hey, we’re in the majority, let’s do this thing right or don’t do it at all.

I’ve kept quiet while Obama sucked up to the banking industry, kowtowed to the generals and blew off the gays and lesbians, but health care reform is something near and dear to my heart. That Joe Lieberman is able to hijack the entire country just by threatening to throw a hissy fit is more than I can take. I thought the tea bag movement was bad but Lieberman’s douche bag movement of one is a new low in the history of politics. He’s suddenly against many of the things he supported in the past and the only reason I can see for his sudden change of heart is that he’s pissed because the Democrats from his own state don’t like him. Now Obama is ready to literally teabag Lieberman just to pass some half-assed bill that doesn’t do shit so he can say he got healthcare reform enacted in his first year.

Obama talks the talk but so far, he doesn’t walk the walk. I can understand not wanting to be too radical your first year in office but Jesus Christ, the majority of the nation supports a public option. What part of that do you not understand? The health care system in America is in need of a heart and lung transplant and Obama’s down to proposing some Botox and a little liposuction. I didn’t think it was possible but it’s looking like the Democrats may succeed in passing a health care bill that’s even more fucked up than what we have now. If they don’t start acting on the change they promised in the last election soon, I’m afraid the next change we’ll see is Palin in 2012.

I’m A Pig…Get Me Out Of Here!

Photo credit: luisrock62 from morguefile.com
Two contestants from the British reality show, I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here! are being charged with animal cruelty because they killed and ate a rat in order to get more energy for the challenges ahead. WTF?!?! Millions of pigs are slaughtered in Australia every year for food and the government is worried about one rat? Don’t they sell those big rat traps Down Under too? I don’t think the Australian Rat is considered an endangered species so what’s the big deal. I’ll admit it’s not big game but how is this any different from hunting rabbits or deer? Is it just because they filmed it?

60 Minutes also aired a segment on hog factory farms in Australia a few weeks back but I have yet to hear of any animal cruelty charges being filed against these businesses. If I were to be reincarnated as an animal, I’d take the rat’s life any time. He spent almost his entire existence running free, doing whatever it is that rats do, until one day he was grabbed up into the sky, had his throat slit, and was gone in a matter of minutes. Contrast that with the factory-farmed hog who spends his entire life crammed into a small enclosure with hundreds of other pigs and endures painful procedures such as having his tail cut off and his teeth ground down without anesthetic until it’s time for him to be zapped with a stun gun, hung on a hook and left to bleed to death after having his throat slit.

As a committed meat eater I’m seriously considering the options I have to stop supporting the existence of factory farms. If I still lived in Kentucky I could probably get some venison from family members who like to hunt but here in Arizona paying premium prices for humanely-raised livestock seems to be my only option. Since my income qualifies me for the lower end of middle class, meat will have to be a treat rather than an every meal staple. I’ve decided that this will be my New Year’s resolution for 2010 because I can’t fall back on the hot dog excuse anymore. I just don’t want to know isn’t going to cut it because I already know too much.

Weighing In On Airlines

In fairness to the guy in this picture, I’m 5’3” and 125 pounds and even I fit pretty snugly in today’s airline seats. It’s ironic that as Americans expand, the seats contract. But everything about airline travel has contracted in the last few years. From checked baggage fees to paying $10 for a lousy sandwich and a tiny bag of chips, the saying nothing in life is free is never more true than when you enter that alternative universe known as the airport. I remember watching one of those airline reality shows where they made some man checking in go to a special room downstairs to make sure he could actually fit in one seat so he didn’t have to pay double the fare. I’m not sure how this aisle-blocking guy slipped by unnoticed.

Actually, I’m all for pegging the ticket price to how much weight you add to the flight. Not only do I weigh less than most other passengers but I pack lighter too. While my mom and sister are always shifting sweaters between bags to sneak by under the 50 pound limit, even for a week-long trip I can make it well under 20 pounds. And for carry-on luggage I usually bring my circa 1984 book bag that contains a couple of paperbacks, keys, cell phone, cigarettes and gum. It adds maybe a couple of pounds tops and easily fits underneath the seat in front of me. I also think there should be a special express ticket so people who don’t use the overhead bins can get off the plane first.

My Christmas trip home this year will be my first since quitting smoking but on previous trips the nicotine deprivation has sent me dangerously close to the edge. I don’t think those parents who were leisurely unpacking their strollers and diaper bags when we landed realized how close the small woman two rows back came to snapping their whiny little kid’s neck. I only get two week of vacation/sick/personal time a year so I’m hoping to avoid last year’s fiasco where I wasted one of my precious days off overnighting at the Chicago airport. The news the next day said they provided cots but I never saw any while I tried to doze off on a hard vinyl-covered chair. I paid extra to go through Dallas this year so if they happen to have a freak snowstorm this holiday season and you’re stuck in the airport, please be kind to your fellow travelers. Beneath the placid exterior, you never know which ones may be ready to snap.