It’s only day five of Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I’m already wishing for Halloween. I know that funding breast cancer research and prevention efforts is a good thing and I’ve personally benefited because of it, but I’m going to have my first post-surgery MRI in a few days and I wish everybody would just shut the fuck up about it.
During my last MRI they said I had some abnormal-looking cells but since they were all over both my breasts they decided it probably wasn‘t anything. They did want me to come back in six months instead of a year, though. To me that means either I’ve just got weird-looking boobs or I’m walking around with two big old cancer sacks hanging off my chest. Plus, the procedure itself combines some of the things I hate the most, needles, loud noises and enclosed spaces. So I really don’t want to be aware of breast cancer right now, but I can’t get away from it.
It seems like that insidious pink ribbon is everywhere. I can’t escape with the TV or internet because sooner or later that ribbon pops up. It may just be a little dot at the bottom of the screen, but it’s there. I thought maybe getting out of the house would help, so I went with a friend to the mall yesterday. Oh…My...God ! Pink ribbons in every store window as far as the eye could see. And when I went to the grocery later that day, it was even worse. They were giving away a hideous pink bicycle and they hit me up for a donation at the checkout line.
I thought about whipping out my titty, showing her my scar, and saying, I gave at the office. But I didn’t. I added a buck to my grocery bill and drove home. I haven't gained any profound insights from having cancer, but it has finally freed me up to be myself. I worried so much about other people's feelings that sometimes I would keep silent rather than risk offending them. Now I just think, to hell with it. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
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